Long time coming...

It's been awhile, I know.  It's just that every time I was prepared to write Logan seemed to say, "hellooo, remember me, there's something yucky in my diaper", or "do you even realize how long it's been since I last ate?  I'm trying to grow here..."  I have a stolen moment, she rests quietly in her pack'n play.  She's trying to reach a milestone, sleeping through the night.  I am pleased to say that Lo has slept 7hrs straight last Monday, and 5 and a half hrs straight 2 other nights last week.  Almost there.  Uh oh, I hear a whimper.  She's giving me a two minute warning.  So...I have been searching for a child trailer so we can enjoy bike rides while I get rid of my last 20lbs.  I've narrowed it down but then wondered if she's still too small.  Will she start sliding to one side as we go cruising?  What I noticed is the product description writers all fail to mention the age requirements for their product.  Duh!  I think I'll visit a pro bike shop and ask questions.  I have all these things I want to do with Lo but then I realize she's only 2 months and her biggest interest right now is controlling her hand to hit the turtle on her bouncy seat, her first friend.  Ok, so I tell myself to chill, baby steps.  Just my thoughts...on being Logan's mom. 

So Amazing...

It amazes me:

*how Logan startles when I'm holding her close and clear my throat

*the amount of rolls I have to get through when wiping her neck

*how she doesn't like anything on or near her head and is prepared 

to fight when a onesie, hat or headband comes close

*how she doesn't like me to touch her ears

*the softness of her thighs

*the amount of babbling she does

*how small her pinky fingernail is

*how far her pacifier rolls when she spits it out

*that her hands just reach the top of her head when she stretches

*how when she looks at me with a half smile and look

of satisfaction after eating,

I know just what she's thinking...

a few of my thoughts...on being Logan's mom

Shots...

To vaccinate or not to vaccinate; I was in disbelief when I saw that this was a topic of discussion in parenting magazines.  You mean you have a choice when it comes to watching in horror as a needle punctures your daughter's chunky, brown thigh and all you can do is hold her clinched fists and you feel like you double-crossed her because just a moment ago she was babbling happily and you warned her of nothing, but knew the exact moment of impact because her gummy smile formed an 'O' and then outstretched so wide that you could see her tongue vibrating as urgent, piercing shrills bounced off the walls while your face is strained with sympathy?  There's a choice?  Apparently, yes.  There are those who do research and those who practice new age child rearing and those who go against societal norms and those who say if it worked for me, then it'll work for my child.  I'm the last 'those'.  Though I like to be 'hip' and 'in the know', and don't always go the way of the norm, the term 'research' just does something to my soul, and nightmares of 30 page grad school papers come to mind.  Hey, what do I know about 20 letter illnesses and their debatable preventions? (Crickets chirping) So yeah, Logan will be vaccinated and I'll feel awful, but not as awful as I would feel if she contacted sfdteghfujhjd or worse dexzokjhygfddgaw.  Oh the horror!  Just my thoughts... on being Logan's mom.   

Thumbsucking...

There are times when Lo makes these loud sucking sounds followed by her damsel in distrust grunt and I realize she's lost her paci and I put it back in her mouth.  Lately she's learned to turn her head and stretch just enough to suck it back in herself.  It's the funniest thing.  Now when I hear her signs that her paci is MIA, I notice instead of her stretching (sometimes it's too far) she'll be gnawing ferociously on her pudgy fists.  I'll scoot her fist over and to replace it with her paci mainly because I don't want her to become a thumb sucker like yours truly.  Once she managed to get just her thumb in her mouth and sucked for all of three seconds and I must admit, it was the cutest thing.  But five years and one pronounced overbite later...not so cute.  I realize that I will not be able to prevent thumb sucking as she ascends into toddlerhood and I wonder will I have to?  Is hot sauce and tape and scolding (oh my) in our future?, as they have been in my past.  I never took to a pacifier,  my mom once shared with me.  My thumb was my comfort well into my twelfth year.  And I never got braces, it just wasn't that type of household.  Thankfully my smile wasn't much affected and maybe Logan's won't be if she does end up pacifying herself with her pudgy thumb.  And if she does well, at least it'll be the cutest thing-for now.  Just some of my thoughts...on being Logan's mom.

Happy Birthday to you...

Ok, so not an official birthday, but today Logan turns 2 months old. Two months already!  I look at her and wonder what she's thinking when she looks at me with a pause, what she's trying to say when she babbles contently and just how did she learn to suck her tongue to make that loud popping sound that I've grown accustomed to.  Already Logan has learned to navigate her world.  She refused to sleep in her pack 'n play until her daddy had the bright idea to put her contoured changing pad inside first.  I don't know what it is about the shape or maybe its velvety soft, polka dot sheet, but even now, this instant, she's fast asleep in her signature position; arms up and out to the sides with balled fists.  And to think, she looked at me like I was crazy when I laid the changing pad on the rugs of the floor of my office, then laid her down so she could chill and babble and I could begin writing after being sidetracked for about an hour.  Motherhood is natural for me.  It seems to just flow as if it was always meant to be.  As if there's a switch in your head that goes from 'no child' to 'parent'.  Or maybe this is still the honeymoon stage.  Either way, each moment is so full and different that it just fits into my spontaneous side.  Lo is sleeping so peacefully that I want to leave her right where she is, the middle of the floor.  Is that bad?  We once let her sleep on the changing part of her pack 'n play.  After fighting sleep for an hour she just conked out after getting her diaper changed.  So we threw a blanket over her and backed out the room quietly.  Well, I guess Logan just helped me with my decision to leave her.  She's awake now and is doing her damsel in distress grunt so I better go.  I wonder though, could the office floor be another option when she's cranky and I'm functioning on two hours of sleep?  Just sharing my thoughts...on being Logan's mom.